Dear Santa, What with all the running around and fretting about new variants and old restrictions, I didn’t get a chance to write my letter until now. I hope I’m not too late…
This year, I want to get back into swimming. Not the ‘dip-in-the-sea’ swimming though. It’s far too cold, and I’m nowhere near tough enough. No, I’m more of a ‘jump in a moderately heated pool and churn through laps for an hour’ kind of guy.
The problem I have, Santa, is that I’m a bit short on motivation, so if you could leave a box of that under the tree, I’d be really grateful. Better still, if you could work out a way to help me skip through the ‘getting back’ phase and land me at the ‘into swimming’ zone, then I could save the energy for something else.
When we were kids, you always used to bring us clothes, which was super handy. Unfortunately, those clothes haven’t fitted me for a while. And, seeing as I grew up in Australia, you always brought T-shirts and boardshorts. But Christmas is in winter here, Santa. Logic would suggest that you bring warm clothes, but I’ve got plenty of them and I have another idea.
Could you please, just for this year, make it 30 degrees on Christmas day, like it’s supposed to be? Then we could eat enough prawns to sink a trawler and play cricket in the backyard. We could even go for a dip in the sea and enjoy it!
And if it’s that warm, we’d be up and about a bit more. The trip to the skatepark to test-drive the new BMX you’re hopefully bringing for our son would be so much easier. And then we’d be out and about and moving. And so would everyone else, and I wouldn’t have to bang on about that in The Mayo News for a few weeks. Yes Santa, Christmas Day should definitely be 30 degrees.
And speaking of skateparks, Santa, could you ask Mayo County Council to build a few more around the place? Because a lot of kids who are into skating and scooters would like somewhere to ride them. And even though there’s a group of guys doing amazing things in the Knockmore Community Hall, it would be great if there were more options. Not everyone is into organised sport, so if we can get them into something else instead, that would be good.
Seeing as we’re doing things for non-mainstream sport and you’re making it warm, do you think you could organise a cricket team somewhere in Mayo? I would do it, but I suspect all of that box of motivation might get used up on the swimming, so maybe you could do it for me. If not, could you just make sure that Australia continues to spank England in the Ashes? Actually, don’t worry about that wish Santa, it will happen anyway!
Santa, what would make me happier than anything, would be if you ignored all of the other requests on this list and just made Covid pack its bags and nick off. It’s Christmas time Santa, we should be out meeting up with all of our friends and family, not stressing over how many adults from different households will be there. We should be able to drop into the neighbours’ house without wondering whether a face mask is appropriate.
People want to be able to go to nursing homes to visit their grandparents. Or pop into the hospital with a box of chocolates for the nurses taking care of them. And they want to give their friends a hug and shake their hands, not keep a mask on and bump elbows.
We’re social creatures Santa, physical contact makes us feel better, so if you can get rid of Covid and all the surrounding carry-on, that will do me.
Oh, and if you could make sure all the good folks who publish and read The Mayo News each week have a lovely Christmas, that would be great too.